Today is the first day that I have both kids at home for the summer and someone help a mama out. This is like the whole world is on fire and one of us or all of us are on the brink of a sensory meltdown. Now, to be fair we are routine driven and now the routine has changed but darn it! Definitely a struggle bus today.
I didn’t know I could love my sons as much as I do right now though. My diagnosis has brought a whole new level of understanding to their thoughts and actions. All that screaming the youngest one does? Verbal stemming. Instead of telling him to stop? Now I ask him to choose a different way to stem and we usually turn into drummers. Not perfect but, life changing for me.
Hugh’s need to sleep with me? Attachment wise makes sense because I’m the person that has always kept him safe and the only person that understands his words. Handflapping as he’s running? We all know what it means. There’s no dread there though. There used to be but now there’s a sense of pride.
You see I used to feel like autism was this burden that seperated my kids from me but my diagnosis changed all that. Now? They’re just like me and if the world can’t handle it I can.
The Autists Other Side 